RANDOM UPDATE

its been awhile since i last touch my blog...

well moving on with life, found a decent job, nt dat high pay due to my qualification bt overall its ok.

working as admin clerk in an ice cream factory.

moving on without thinking much about the past.

had another attack bt its ok i hope.

had 1 holter test, was confirmed ok but have to do it again.

cant bear it le, why dont i be with you God...

take me with you...

DAY 32

day 32 without you by my side

already 1 month had passed...

rili sorry for what had happened.

for being so foolish...

mayb wut i had done it terrible, doesnt deserve you to forgive me

doesnt worth to be ur fren at all now

guess dats the biggest flaw in me, being too emo and hot tempered.

i sincerely apologise for what happened and i will leave everythg as it is...

i will nt trouble u anymore

i will start my life brand new, and mayb in d future v can b frens again.

rili sorry for what had happened

DAY 10

day 10 without u by my side, sunny day

its indeed a tough decision i made...

withdrawing from UTAR...

taking time off now...

had a wonderful moment seeking advice...

unfortunately, been struck again by that...

its been quite awhile since d last incident happen...

tis time its quite severe...

i duno i can pull through or nt...

i jz hope to meet up with u

my last act was to deliver to u a letter wif my feeling 2 u middle of the nite...

u had read it n i hope u will think bout it...

u had wanted to meet me bt i'm nt fit to meet u...

bt please consider wut i wrote for u n v will meet face to face...

DAY 9

day 9 without u by my side, sunny day...

the most toughest decision was made...

i am no longer studyin in UTAR

been a hell of a ride though...

rili unfortunate bt i hv no regrets...

it was u who encourage me to study bt losin u had made me lost it...

n advice by advisor to ask me try sum other thgs....

u did impart a great change to me during our relationship...

u may not noe bt i did a lot of thgs for u, throughout tis relationship

losing u means losing everythg that's important to me...

nvr in my mind u will want to leave me bt i dun deserve to noe anythg more...

perhaps its true, i am nt good enuf for u in d 1st place...

anyhow, will b spending my last few days in ipoh

if u still hv feelings for me, at least gv me 1 chance to spend it wif u...

DAY 8

day 8 without u by my side, cloudy n raining nw.

its been a long week...

made up my decision n i noe its a tough 1...

i noe there will be disappointment bt i rili cant help it...

i dun rili hv the energy n will to continue on dats y i decided to quit...

start sumthg new n life goes on...

b4 i leave, i rili hope to meet u 1 last time, to c u n talk to u...

n then i wun be bothering u anymore...

i will jz leave everythg to fate...

all i wanted was tis chance to meet u...

if u rili had accepted me s ur fren, its ntg to b afraid of...

unless u still harbour feelings for me n u dun wana c me letting go...

which is it then?

DAY 7

day 7 without u by my side, sunny day

its been 1 week since u left...

n its d 1st time u chat wif me, all cuz ur fb gt prob n i was concerned bout u...

i rili duno whether u read all those words i wrote to u...

there r ppl quite supportive of us workin thgs out

i do hope v can stay together...

been thinkin a lot lately, sum decisions had to be made although its tough...

bt i am standing by my decision... i will not leave u for others.

i will make u accept me once more...

i cherished wut v had shared n i do hope v can continue makin more memories.

jz gv me 1 final probational chance. dats all i ask frm u.

DAY 6

day 6 without u by mide side, cloudy day...

it seems u r indeed very happy leaving me n starting ur life as a singleton.

this oni proves dat b4 this u were nt happy at all when u were attached...

thinkin back, i had shared half of my heart wif u, my life especially...

i still remember clearly dat night, when v 1st started...

our 1st date, 1st kiss, 1st stayover...

u were saying dat hw much u liked to be hug...

and throughout that time, hugs n kisses was all i could give u.

all those memories created...

u said also, hw v had this special scent of each other, unique scent so to speak...

bt then, it also reminds me of sumthg bad... which showed hw much u clearly cared for me.

it was that time where i had involved in an accident.

i was to meet u early before i start work.

however, it was at that moment i was involved in an accident...

lost my specs, had burst my right leg's muscle and suffered a whiplash

at that very moment, i was so fortunate i had lived, for that moment itself showed hw much u rili cared for me... loved me.

for nw, i wish i had left dat moment, so dat i couldnt hurt u so much like nw...

mayb if i had sacrificed dat time, it would be better for u...

from dat i can say, i had shared half of my own life with u.

mayb its true the curse of tgv works... every couple in tgv couldnt last long.

u were the 1 dat said v can make a difference... to prove every1 v can make it.

i remember telling u i had phobia dealing wif twins especially in relationship.

u were the 1 dat proved otherwise, bt nw... it seems to b the fact

as for nw, i appreciate it dat u had keep it wif u n for letting go, u r throwing away our last hope

i shall not disturb u anymore for i have not dat luxury and chance.

i shall leave u nw, for u no longer wants to b regarded as mrs chris wong, oni ms chan.

i have lost hope nw, mayb it is time for me to go, leave this world and be forgotten.

i doubt my existence is significant anymore... i will sacrifice for love.